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Pagan Blog Project Week 8: D is for Discrimination

Posted by Tala Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I'm a little nervous about writing about this one as I fear it might be a little bit of a pot-boiler, but discrimination is a rather heavy topic not just in Paganism but in so many aspects in the world.  There's too many forms of discrimination to even be able to write about in a single blog post, so I'm going to focus on one that has troubled me the most as of late.

Please know that I don't expect everyone to agree with me but please don't flame me.  And please also know that what I'm about to say is not meant to bash or to flame anyone either though I worry I might come across that way.

A very large controversy within the Pagan community of late was brought about by a ritual that was protested at PantheaCon.  I know, I know.  I can already hear the groans.  Mind you, I was not there, but what I have read about it has disturbed and saddened me very deeply.

Basically, I don't agree with what happened at PantheaCon.  I don't agree with someone who's going to hold a women-only ritual and then insist that transwomen are not allowed.  I fully agree with and respect a ritual designed to help a woman heal and what not, but cis women aren't the only women who need healing.  So much of what transgender people go through simply because they have the nerve to try to become the opposite gender of what they were born is appalling!  Come on!  Look at the huge rabble-rousing that happened when Chaz Bono was on "Dancing With The Stars".  That got the One Million Moms group up in arms with a huge twist in their knickers!

So when this issue arose at PantheaCon and I saw that the ritual was announced as a healing ritual for women, I initially was pissed that it was being protested.  Why the hell would ANYONE protest a ritual like that?  Then I saw that while it advertised being for ALL women, Z Budapest's definition of "all women" was narrowed only to those who was actually born with a vagina.

Wow.

So am I to understand that transwomen don't count as women?  Really?

I have had the privilege of being acquainted with a transwoman; we'll just call her K.  She is a very dear friend of one of my dear friends named Lyra.  She is planning on having her surgery soon, but to look at her?  I can't tell that she ever was a man.  When I first started getting acquainted with K, she was introduced to me as a woman.  I saw pictures of her she looked like a woman.  She had the figure of a woman, her face was soft-looking and feminine and she just had that VERY FEMININE energy about her.  So when we first became friends on LiveJournal and I started finding out more about her, I was actually very surprised to find that she was born as a man.

I seriously had to process that information for a bit.  I mean, I can't say that she's the prettiest woman I've ever seen, but that had nothing to do with it.  She just looked so much like a woman that I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that, genetically, she wasn't.

Hell, my friend who introduced us has even told me that K is even more girly than she is!  Despite the fact that she currently has the male equipment between her legs, K is VERY MUCH a woman.

So when I saw the uproar about PantheaCon and I found out more about the protest (my most detailed information came from Lupa's LiveJournal as she was actually there for the protest; you can read her account of it at Lupa's LiveJournal if you haven't already) I found myself feeling very disgusted and, quite honestly, angry.

I pictured K being there at PantheaCon and being barred from a ritual that, by rights, she should have been able to participate.  But no, instead, she would have been rebuffed because she made the mortal sin of being born with a penis.  Do not misunderstand me, K was not there.  It was just crossing my mind what she would have gone through had she been there and wanting to attend that ritual.

K has been through A LOT.  You KNOW that it cannot be an easy thing to feel in your heart and soul that you were born into the wrong gender when you feel so deep down to the marrow that you were supposed to be the opposite.  I really cannot even imagine how hard that must be.  I'm a female, was born that way, and I have no gender dysphoria of feeling that I should be a man.  No, it's not easy being a woman, but at least I already am and don't have to go through any changes to become what I feel I am.

This is the battle that K and so many other transgender people are going through.  And, on top of that, there's the psychological and emotional damage that can occur when people find out.  Some transgender people have also suffered physical violence because of this.  I really can't even find the appropriate enough words to try to convey what these people go through.

And then here you have Paganism which, though I know it's not perfect, is supposed to be far more accepting of people and their differences.  I know that the Dianic tradition is almost entirely female-biased and I don't mean that insultingly.  I can respect the Dianics for bolstering the power of women, for healing them of wrongs that have been done, etc.  I really can.   But what I cannot personally respect is when a Dianic ritual excludes transwomen from participating.

To quote Lupa:  I have absolutely no problem with cis-women-only rituals. What I have a problem with is when a ritual that is purported to be for "all women" or, in the case of Z's ritual, "the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety", is limited to cis women only. This exclusion of trans women from rituals stated to be for ALL women invalidates trans women's identities AS WOMEN. It is NOT enough that trans people have their own trans-centric rituals and spaces, though these have great value to many trans people. "Transgender" is not a third sex separate from "men" and "women". A transgender woman is a woman, and if your ritual is specifically stated to be for ALL women, then you need to include ALL women, cis and trans.

I find that statement, "the beauty and grace of the feminine form in all of her infinite variety", to be very oxymoronic.  If this ritual was for that, then by locking out transwomen, that is saying that the beauty and grace of the feminine form is not so infinite, thereby locking the Goddess into a box.  They're saying that, though transwomen identify as female, there's no possible way that the Feminine Divine could be shown through them.  Why?  Because they have a penis.

This quote by Z Budapest herself on Anya Kless' blog about the Lilith Rite last year basically says that very thing:  “This struggle has been going since the Women’s Mysteries first appeared. These individuals selfishly never think about the following: if women allow men to be incorporated into Dianic Mysteries,What will women own on their own? Nothing! Again! Transies who attack us only care about themselves. We women need our own culture, our own resourcing, our own traditions. You can tell these are men, They don’t care if women loose the Only tradition reclaimed after much research and practice ,the Dianic Tradition. Men simply want in. its their will. How dare us women not let them in and give away the ONLY spiritual home we have! Men want to worship the Goddess? Why not put in the WORK and create your own trads. The order of ATTIS for example,(dormant since the 4rth century) used to be for trans gendered people, also the castrata, men who castrated themselves to be more like the Goddess. Why are we the ONLY tradition they want? Go Gardnerian!Go Druid! Go Ecclectic! Filled with women, and men. They would fit fine. But if you claim to be one of us, you have to have sometimes in your life a womb, and overies and MOON bleed and not die. Women are born not made by men on operating tables.

I find such a statement to be .... just...... so disheartening.  To view the desired allowance of transwomen into a women-only ritual as though it's this big conspiracy of the male gender to take over "the only spiritual home they have" is just flat-out preposterous.


It is here that I must quote my earlier-mentioned friend, Lyra, which she wrote on her LJ:  "I think everyone here knows that, in my opinion, genitalia does not equal gender. Just because a person is born with a vagina doesn't make them a woman, and being born with a penis doesn't make you a guy. If you identify as a woman, then you are a woman--there is no question of that in my mind. This is actually such a firmly held belief of mine, that I find it hard to understand how or why someone would think otherwise.

Dianic Wicca (as I understand it) is comprised of female practitioners. The disclaimer in all of this is I am not Wiccan, nor do I know much about Dianic Wicca. So, then, I don't understand why a transwoman would be turned away from attending a public event that is for Dianic Wiccans. Transwomen are women, and they aren't any less of a woman than someone born with a vagina is. Why then would they be excluded for an event that's for women?

Perhaps my view of this comes from interaction with a few different transwomen. Their energy is incredibly feminine--I can't say I've ever met a transwoman (either IRL or online--and I've been around them both ways) who had any masculine energy. And since witchcraft (and/or Wicca) works with energy, I have a really hard time understanding why a woman--any woman--would be barred from such an event. Especially when they have such feminine energy."

 That last statement throws it all into perfect relief.  Transwomen do not have a masculine energy.  K does not have any masculine energy. To look at her you would think she was born a female.  I definitely thought she was until I read otherwise.  Again, you might remember me mentioning my surprise?

In my personal opinion, I think transgender people are a perfect lesson in the energies of the gods and goddesses and how genetic gender is not a factor in how their energies can work through us.

To see someone like K be able to so beautifully embody the Feminine Divine despite the genitalia she was born with just goes to show that, unlike Dianics like Z Budapest, the Goddess is no respecter of gender and that she is quite capable of working through the genetic male or female who wishes to tap into the feminine powers.

Same goes for the masculine.  Chaz Bono has such a masculine energy despite the fact that he was born into a female body.  When I look at Chaz, I see someone who has a definite masculine energy and I can still see some of the feminine energy working through.  But that's just me.  Whether anyone else sees the touch of the feminine working through, Chaz Bono is quite obviously a man.  Genetic gender doesn't matter.


Earlier I mentioned Anya Kless' blog to which Z had made her reply.  You should really read the whole thing.  She is a priestess of Lilith and she offered some wonderful views in regards to the Lilith Rite at last year's PantheaCon where transwomen were also turned away.  So were men, but many people had showed up to the Lilith Rite without any indication that it was desired to be a women-only event.

All in all, I have no quarrel with there being gender-specific rituals and events such as men-only or women-only.  I view those times as no different than there being boys- and girls-nights-out.  Those times of ritual and fellowship can be a very sacred and much-needed time of just bonding with those of the same gender.

What I disagree with is the discrimination and exclusion of transgender people.  As I said, it's already hard enough on them that they can't identify with their genetic gender, it makes it even worse when those of the gender they do identify don't accept them either.

They need to be loved, accepted, and welcomed amongst their sisters and brothers.  It doesn't matter what gender they are genetically or what gender they see themselves as.  They DESERVE to be welcomed among those of their perceived gender, they DESERVE to be safe and loved. 

I fully believe that there must be a happy medium found.

I do understand that there were some people at this year's rite who have been victims of rape and abuse who felt that they would not be comfortable with seeing a woman in there with a penis.  I do understand that, believe it or not.  However, I do not feel that that is a good enough reason to make transwomen pay for the crimes put upon them by men.  I do not feel that that is any excuse to treat transwomen as though they're not real women.

I saw one blog post by this woman who had attended the ritual and I wish for the life of me I could remember where it was I'd seen it, but basically she was a survivor of rape and abuse and, as aforementioned, she was one who was not comfortable with the idea of seeing a penis present in the ritual.  Bless her, but I wanted to cry for her because even as she wrote out her feelings, she expressed feeling so terrible for even feeling that way.  This poor woman still has a lot of healing needed.  Just reading her words made it quite apparent that she has a lot of wounds and scars to work through.

To quote my friend Lyra again:  "On the topic of the whole rape/abuse thing...I would think being surrounded by women, yet having THAT present could be healing. It could show them that not everyone who has that intends to use it to harm people, plus it could get them used to being around that again."

I very much agree with that.  However, I also understand that some women such as the one I mentioned might not be ready for such a step.  I very much understand that.

So what solution might there be for a happy medium where all can be comfortable and where transwomen would not be excluded?

Perhaps at some point it could be arranged for there to be two Healing Women rituals planned.  One for those that are like the woman above who just can't yet handle seeing a penis and then one for all women INCLUDING transwomen.  I mean, why not?  It could be done and I personally think it needs to.  Transwomen should not be excluded, for they may need healing just as much as the rape and abuse victims.  Hell, that's not even really the correct way to word it, for I know that there are transwomen who ARE victims/survivors of rape and abuse.  They need healing too and I cannot agree with anyone or anything that would flat-out deny them that healing just because, again, ZOMG! they committed the unforgivable sin of being born with man-parts.

*sigh*

So, yeah.  Those are my thoughts on this particular topic of discrimination.  I don't believe in discrimination period.  I find it all to be unnecessary and disheartening, but somehow it just hits closer when I see members of the Pagan community doing such.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me.  All I ask is that if you have a differing opinion, please voice it in a civil manner.  Believe it or not, being flambe'd was not exactly on my itinerary today.  LoL

2 comments

  1. Dusken Says:
  2. The problem with the abuse survivors thing is that many trans-women statistically speaking are also survivors of horrible rape and abuse, especially if they were in school and especially in the prison system. By saying these women need healing (I'm not referencing you but other writers I have seen covering this, you understand) but then saying a transwoman who maybe has also been raped and assaulted does not is possibly the worst insult you could lob at someone.

    I am agreeing with you on all counts there needs to be a medium somewhere where another group is not Othered.

     
  3. Tala Says:
  4. Exactly! That's exactly what I'm saying, which is one of the reasons I think it's so horrible that they were spurned from a ritual that they probably needed just as much as cis-women who've been abused and raped.

    A happy medium is very much needed.

     

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Tala
I'm a Pagan college student, mother, and girlfriend studying to be a Paralegal. And somewhere in the midst of all this I somehow need to find the time to keep pursuing my goal to be a practicing Witch and not just a book-read one. Whew!
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