The Busy Pagan

3 more posts, including this one, and I'll be current on the PBP  ^_^

I liked the questions that were presented with this topic suggestion and it gives me the opportunity to discuss a little about when I did my dedication to Brighid.

Dedication is usually the first step when someone embarks down the path of Paganism.  Or it might be the step that someone takes when they dedicate themselves to a particular Deity, such as I did.  Dedication, in any form, means that you are taking upon yourself the task of actively learning your path, whether you are working as a solitary or as a student in a coven.

Myself, I've always wanted the opportunity to learn under the instruction of a coven.  I've never really had the chance to, unfortunately, but that's another post for another time.

In a traditional coven, the time that a dedicant must spend as a student is a year and a day before they can be officially initiated as a member of the coven.  I'm not sure of the beliefs of other people, but to my mind there is a difference between dedication and initiation.

As I stated before, a dedication is done to symbolize one's commitment to take upon themselves the task of learning all they can about their chosen path, learning how to practice, etc.  Initiation is more a ceremony that recognizes that one has obtained and earned their right to take their place among a coven, whether it's because they finished their year and a day or that they've been able to show that they possess enough knowledge and skill elsewhere to be able to join the coven as an official member.

Now, where the question of initiation comes to light is where it concerns solitaries.  I've seen some argue quite vehemently that there's no such thing as self-initiation, that you can only be initiated if it's being done with a coven.

I, personally, do not agree with that viewpoint.  Initiation, much like dedication, is an important symbolic rite of passage.  Dedication shows the commitment to begin and progress along your path; initiation shows the commitment to keep progressing and finding things to learn even after you've passed the basics and it shows that you've earned the right, basically, to call yourself a full-on witch.

That's not exactly how I wanted to put it, but I'm not quite sure how else to word it.  I hope my choice of words doesn't offend anyone.

Whether someone is in a coven or is a solitary practitioner, if they've put the time and effort to learn and practice and grow, they have every right to go through their initiation.  For some, such as myself, it's not always possible to be involved in a coven or even a circle, so solitaries have just as much a right to perform a self-initiation to recognize and celebrate their achievements as a dedicant.  They've earned the right to obtain that initial degree status if it's something that's important to them.

Anyway, getting back to the real topic at hand:  A dedication is a beautiful ceremony.  Whether it's committing oneself to the Pagan path or dedicating oneself to a specific Deity, it's a poignant and beautiful rite of passage.  Committing oneself to the path of the Goddess is no small thing and it's no small task.  Unfortunately for myself, I've not been able to put as much into it as I would like, but I'm still determined that that will change.

I did my dedication to my matron Goddess, Brighid, close to a year ago.  It wasn't overly grandiose -- I didn't have many supplies to work with, but I know that didn't matter to Her.  Brighid isn't exactly a grandiose Goddess Herself and I think she appreciates people making do with what they have available.  What comes from the heart is what matters the most.  I lit candles to celebrate the Esbat (this was on the Flower Moon last year) dedicated myself to Brighid, expressing my love for Her, my promise to keep Her in my heart, and to try to keep growing in my spirituality so that I could better serve Her.  As I previously said, I haven't been able to do as much as I've wanted, but now that life is really starting to settle down into better stability, I think I'll be able to.  I know She hasn't held it against me.  Always, I've felt Her patience and love, ready to encourage my progress as soon as I take the step to begin again.

One thing I want to do to further myself is to enroll again in WitchSchool.com and to try to complete the lessons, both on the site and in the 1st Degree book I got from them to FINALLY!!!!! obtain my 1st Degree level.  I've read several books over the years and have a pretty decent knowledge base, but I know I still have much to learn before I could comfortably consider myself in the 1st Degree and I'm still quite awkward in my practice whenever I manage to do a ritual.  Admittedly, I still have a long way to go in keeping consistency and discipline.

So, those are my thoughts on dedications and initiations as well as where I stand in the overall scheme of things.  I apologize if I've repeated myself too much.

Continuing to catch up on the Pagan Blog Project, I've chosen the topic of candles to finish up the C topics.

I fell in love with candles as a teenager before I ever knew of Paganism.  I was given my first candle set for Christmas in 2000 by my brother's in-laws when we went to Florida to visit for the holidays.  He must have told them I liked purple.  The candle was purple and came with a wooden shade box that had purple-shaded windows that looked like it was covered with purple tissue paper (which, obviously, it wasn't, but it looked cool).  When I got back home to Colorado and unpacked it from my travel case, I burned that candle incessantly.  I liked lighting it as I went to bed and lay there in the dark watching the light dance through the shade box (of course, I would blow it out when I felt that I could go to sleep).

That following Valentine's Day, my mother gave me a Gardenia-scented votive with a votive holder that comprised of a glass round-bottom cup made to look like the glass was cracked that sat in a metal holder.

Yes, I was effectively hooked.  To this day, I can't go through a mall without going through the Yankee Candle Company and smelling all the candles.  It's hard to leave a WalMart without snagging another 7-Day container candle (hey, they're only $5!).  I love scouring through thrift stores to see what kinds of candle holders they possess (I gleefully came home once from a thrift store I did some volunteering at last year with a bird cage-style votive holder that has a rose on it for like $3 -- that one sits on my altar as my Brighid candle-holder that I like to use for my Flamekeeping shifts).

I absolutely adore candles so, naturally, they are something I include in my rituals.  Yeah, I know.  Big shock there.  I can't actually think of any Pagan I know who doesn't use candles.

Candle magick is one of the things that I want to become more adept at in several ways.  I've used candle magick several times, whether it's to dispel negativity, to bring prosperity, healing, etc.  At some point, hopefully soon, I want to get into candle making.  I'd like to learn to make candles that have herbs and essential oils incorporated into the wax.  I've even thought of doing that as an Etsy business, but we'll see.  One step at a time.

I love the ways that candles can be incorporated into Paganism.  Really, the only limit to the use of candles is the limit that our imaginations provide.  Rituals, candle magick, using them in cleansing our houses/apartments, using them in the bathroom while we take a ritual bath, using them for meditation, even using them as a simple, witchy decoration around the house, the list goes on and on.  It's amazing how integral to our lives candles can be.

Ugh.  I know this is ridiculously late but one again, I'm trying to get caught up on my PBP blogs.

The topic I have chosen should come as no surprise to those who know me as 1: Brighid is my matron Goddess and 2: The 2nd week of the B's came right before Imbolc, Brighid's sacred day.  At this point, Imbolc has already happened and, unfortunately,  I wasn't really able to do much of anything to honor her except to pray.  Many of my Pagan items ended up getting left behind when we moved (along with many other things).  I had no candles to light (which also doesn't help when my day for Flamekeeping comes up) and nothing to really work with.

What I did, however, even if it wasn't much, I found myself remembering when Brighid first made me aware of Her call.  I'd known of her for several years and she has long been one of my most favorite deities. However, I had many years where, though I had several that I favored, I did not feel that call that beckoned me to dedicate to any one particular deity.  A little more than a year ago I was working at a call center.  I'd brought my MP3 player to work with me so I could listen to it on my breaks.  I was trying to get into a habit of meditation which, admittedly, has yet to really take. 

I was listening to one of my most favorite chats, "The Earth The Air The Fire The Water" by Libana on one of my breaks.  When I closed my eyes to meditate, it didn't take long for images to present themselves.

Here's what I originally wrote about it in my LJ:

I bring my MP3 player to work with me for [meditation].  The day before yesterday I meditated here for the first time.  I put my headphones in and put my favorite chant on repeat (the one that I posted a video for the other day).

Whenever I hear this chant [the chant by Libana that I mentioned earlier], it evokes images of a misty, magickal forest to me.  Almost like what you'd see in the wilds of Washington state.  Leafy greens, ferns, and moss everywhere.  Everything the eye meets is lush and green.  The mist that rolls silently through the trees have a vivid energy of mystery, if that makes any sense.

So when I started to meditate with this music, I went with it.  I explored this lush forest, just reveling in the peace.  I could feel the moss and grass beneath my bare feet.  I wanted to dig my toes down into the soil.  I remember passing through the trees, touching every tree that I passed and it almost felt like they returned my greetings.

Then a surprise was waiting for me.

Now, before I go further, I need to make it clear that I've been thinking of the goddess, Brighid, a lot lately.  She's been one of my most favorite goddesses, but it's only been recent that I've started to feel this pull from her.

So in my meditation, as I was going just to see what I could find,  I unexpectedly came upon a woman waiting for me at a little creek that wound its way through the trees.  She was standing in the water and she beckoned me to her.  She had long, curly hair the color of flames that reached down to her waist.  She was dressed in a simple white dress that reached down to her shins, if I recall correctly.

Even as I meditated, I could feel goosebumps raise on my body and I didn't need to be told who this woman was supposed to be.  Brighid.  No words were spoken between us.  She merely took me by the hand and showed me things in the forest.  I don't remember much past this.  I could only focus on her.  Her warmth, and the love and kindness that radiated from her.

When my meditation ended, I remember feeling the expectation from her that I should visit her again soon.

Ever since then, i have been wanting to learn more about Brighid.  Though she is one of my favorite goddesses, I really don't know much about her.  I know what things she represents, how she was made a Catholic saint, etc.  But that was about it. 

I started looking up things about her yesterday on one of my breaks, but I still need to read more.  One thing that I did find interesting was that  she has a thing with rivers and streams.  I need to find this tidbit again, but it mentioned something concerning her that had to do with the rivers of the Underworld.  *facepalm*  I feel so idiotic for not remembering better.  But it struck me when I read that part because it was a stream where Brighid met me in my meditation.  It felt like a confirmation that I wasn't just daydreaming or making anything up.

It brought me comfort at that.

That still remains a very profound memory/meditation for me.  I know that how I'd written it out wasn't exactly the most eloquent.  Some of it was just really hard to put into words.